Modern Dating 101
Tips for Dating in a Modern World
The times, they are a’changing, and so are the many complicated rules regarding dating and relationships. Roles have reversed and changed, new boundaries have been drawn, and among all of these changes are still many traditional and universal do’s and don’ts that remain in effect today. For any who are confused by the modern dating scene, here are a few tips that can act as a guideline for today’s men and women to keep up with dating’s changing rules.
There are a few age-old and universal rules of dating that are just plain courteous to follow. While some of these may seem like common sense to some, you’d be surprised at how often such things are overlooked!
First and foremost, always be attentive to your date. This includes maintaining eye contact while engaging in conversation that makes neither person the sole listener. Show interest in your date, and ask questions, but be sure not to sound like an interrogator. Be sure to plan your date out ahead of time, planning activities that will be enjoyable and interesting for both parties, avoiding large gaps in time that will only serve to provide awkward silences.
With the changes in male and female roles over the years, many men become confused with how they are to behave and wrestle with whether or not to remain chivalrous. While there are women out there who may react negatively to such actions as having their door opened for them or their chair pulled out, the general consensus is that most women find these acts to be gentlemanly and appreciate these little things that show their date is being polite and considerate. Remember not to over-do it. If overdone, chivalry becomes more of a show and less than a genuine and sincere want to show your sweet side.
Internet dating is on the rise, and with this comes the act of meeting for the first time after several interactions via chat rooms or phone calls. With this in mind, always plan to meet your date in a public place. This is a safe practice that can also give inspiration for ice breakers and distractions to fill in any silences and lags in conversation. One-on-one dating and romance should be reserved once you have gotten to know your date a bit better and can feel completely comfortable doing so.
When it comes to paying the bill, there are many arguments over who should pay what and when. In these modern times, one can’t always assume the man is going to pay. Rather, many people believe that whomever asked for the date is responsible for paying. It is also common practice to just split the bill unless one offers to pay the entire thing, in which case, the other should graciously accept and then offer to make up the next time.
It is also now widely accepted and even encouraged for women to ask men out on dates without the woman being wrongfully labeled as “too forward” or “desperate.” Many find it attractive and a good show of confidence! Both parties should remember, however, that despite the modern world viewing sex as something not taboo and inappropriate, that unwanted physical advances should be avoided. If chemistry is felt, then it’s generally accepted that it’s okay to test the waters… but carefully, and with clear consent. Being too forward in affection can be a definite turn-off.
With some common sense and a few traditional and well-known tips, the modern dating scene can really be a fun and simple world in which to venture. Just remember to treat your date with courtesy, bring your sense of humor, and use effective communication, and you should be golden!
Read More»Top 10 Selling Novels of 2010
With the rising popularity of the Sony e-Reader and similar electronic ways to read books, the written word, or the printed word for that matter is still relevant in today’s society.
From beach trash to great American novels, books have been around for centuries and have taught us a great deal, and made the authors of bestselling novels plenty of cash. Here is a list of bestsellers that have dominated the charts so far this year.
The Help
By Kathryn Stockett
In her extremely well reviewed debut novel, Stockett explores issues of race and class in Jackson, Mississippi during the civil rights movement. Poignant, authentic and excellently executed, this best seller deserves its spot at the top of the list.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
By Stieg Larsson, translated by Reg Keeland
This expertly paced thriller is the first in a trilogy about a has-been financial journalist who attempts to save his name by agreeing to aid in the research of an unsolved disappearance with the help of a body-molded lady computer hacker. Plot twists keep the reader guessing in this never dull page turner.
Dear John
By Nicholas Sparks
From the popular writer of ‘The Notebook’ and ‘A Walk to Remember’, ‘Dear John’ tells a romantic tale of two early twenty-somethings who prove the adage “opposites attract.” But with a title like ‘Dear John’, can the reader realistically expect a happy ending? This novel has already been adapted to the screen, and the movie starring Amanda Seyfried debuted this year.
The Lost Symbol
By Dan Brown
A conspiracy thriller set in our own backyard, ‘The Lost Symbol’ explores possible dark elements of America’s history. Brown, author of ‘The Da Vinci Code’, creates a lot of excitement for returning character Robert Langdon, who (in true Dan Brown form) solves riddles, unearths clues, and seeks to defeat the madman villain.
The Shack
By William P. Young
The aftermath of the kidnapping and possible brutal murder of a man’s young daughter is the focus of this enthralling novel. When the man finds a bizarre note that supposedly is from God, he follows its directive to visit the shack where his daughter’s murder may have taken place. Well written and compelling, this book has been called “transformative” and has been hailed by reviewers.
Breaking Dawn (The Twilight Saga, Book 4)
By Stephanie Meyer
Bella is still torn between the love of her vampire paramour and werewolf suitor. For many, this fourth installment in the Twilight series feels like filler. Nevertheless, ‘Breaking Dawn’ remains popular with readers both young and old and sales are continually bolstered by the popularity of the movie franchise.
Eclipse (The Twilight Saga, Book 3)
By Stephanie Meyer
Only slightly slower selling than its follow up, the third book in the series follows the love life of high school student Bella Swan, whose potential mates include a vampire and a werewolf.
Let the Great World Spin: A Novel
By Colum McCann
This exquisite novel lets the reader peek in on ten very diverse lives in 1974 New York. It’s all precariously connected by the tightrope walking feat of Philippe Petit, who walked between the WTC towers on a cable in late summer of 1974.
The Girl Who Played with Fire
By Stieg Larsson
The follow up to ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ focuses on the Swedish sex trade.
Sarah’s Key
By Tatiana de Rosnay
This riveting historical novel discusses regrettable French behavior regarding the arrest of Jewish families living in France during the Second World War. Alternating between the past and present, de Rosnay revolves the plot around an American writer whose marriage hangs in the balance of her sordid discoveries.
Read More»Lucy Liu Broadway Debut “God Of Carnage”
Lucy Liu Set For Broadway Debut in February
Lucy Liu is set to become the latest big-name to make the switch from the close sets of Hollywood to the boards of Broadway.
The Charlie’s Angels actress has been lined up to join the cast of the New York production of The God of Carnage, a play telling the story of two liberal, middle-class couples whose children get into a fight.
It is expected that Liu will join the show at the end of the month and appear until it closes on Broadway at the end of February.
Joining her in the Tony award-winning production will be Jeff Daniels, Dylan Baker and Janet McTeer, with Annie Potts and Scotsman Ken Stott due to step down after the weekend.
Despite having become one of the world’s biggest actresses, firstly through her role in the hit TV series Ally McBeal and then in numerous movie blockbusters, including Kill Bill, this will be Liu’s Broadway debut.
Meanwhile, fellow Hollywood star Scarlett Johansson has received rave reviews for her Broadway debut, a new production of Arthur Miller’s A View From the Bridge.
For articles more articles about arts and culture and much more please visit the arts and culture section on GKLife.
Read More»Where Did Valentine’s Day Come From?
Where Did Valentine’s Day Come From?
The legends surrounding St. Valentine’s Day are so varied that the researcher can choose from a buffet of origin stories, and ultimately decide to celebrate the holiday for the reasons most fitting to his or her personal tastes. There is a tale to be told here for each of an array of personalities, be they hedonist, romantic, or pious. Unfortunately, the inverse to this is that the veracity of most of these legends is highly dubious.
Religious Reasons Why St. Valentine’s Day Was Created
Some of the information passed around about the holiday can be verified as fact, however. It is true that St. Valentine’s Day was established as a Catholic feast day by Pope Gelasius I around 498 A.D., and the Catholic church removed it from their calendars of official feasts in 1969, due to the lack of any clear historical information about St. Valentine. It is also true that Gelasius most likely decided to place the feast day on February 14th in an attempt to quell interest and participation in a still popular ancient Roman festival called Lupercalia. This pagan party of epic proportions had nude men whip women with the bloodied skins of sacrificed dogs or goats to enhance their fertility, and culminated in the name drawing of local eligible women from an urn by single men on February 15th, resulting in year long pairings by lottery. These festivities were still occurring more than a century after Constantine had decreed Christianity the official religion of the Roman Empire, so Gelasius’ motivation for the creation of St. Valentine’s Day is clear.
Valentine, a Roman priest
While history can attest to the existence of eight centuries of annual pagan festivities, as well as the agendas of the religious figures who sought to stymie them, the historical record is much murkier on the actual martyr Valentine. Speculations abound about the saint’s trials and accomplishments, as well as which St. Valentine (there are three) the holiday, in fact, reveres. The most popular piece of lore takes place in 3rd century Rome, where Emperor Claudius II had recently outlawed marriages for young men in the belief that single men made better soldiers. Valentine, a Roman priest, defied the decree and continued to wed young lovers until his actions were discovered and he was jailed and ultimately executed by beheading. One variation on this account has Valentine falling in love with his jailer’s daughter, who was apparently a frequent visitor, and writing her a letter shortly before his death that was signed “From your Valentine.”
Another further embroidery of the story places the date of Valentine’s decapitation or burial on February 14, 270 A.D. A decidedly less romantic conception of the Roman Valentine simply has him assisting martyrs under Claudius’ persecution, sans frilly details, although a few tack on an attempt to convert Claudius the Goth to Christianity. Still other straightforward religious interpretations of this holiday place emphasis on either one of two other Valentines who were martyred; Valentine of Terni, a 2nd century bishop who was persecuted by Emperor Aurelian, or Valentine who suffered and was martyred in Africa, but about whom little else is known.
For some naughty Valentine’s Day gift ideas and much more please visit the sex and relationship section on GKMen.
Read More»Does Chivalry Exist in 2009
What do women really think of chivalry and is chivalry dead today?
Interactions between the sexes have always been fraught with miscommunication. Personal differences cause friction, especially in the realm of relationships. Chivalry, once held up as gallantry, courtesy, and honor, now often refers to little niceties that make a woman’s life “easier”. But all men are not knights, and all women are not princesses. It should no longer be necessary for men to follow the “unspoken rules” about how to the sexes.
Chivalrous actions speak another way – that the woman is there to make a man look good. By ordering for her, pulling out her chair, and taking care of her personal effects, the man assures that she is paying attention to him. She would make both of them look terrible if she was ungrateful of his attentions! A social faux pas like that would start the rumor mill churning. Still, both sides of this argument exist. On one hand, men should show decorum, and on the other, women should be just as capable of opening a door as their partner. I make it a point to hold the door open behind me for anyone exiting immediately after me from a building, and I will also make an effort to get the door for any elderly persons (male or female) that enter a building along with me. That is the difference between respect and chivalry. it’s not the act that dictates it, but the intent.
There have been studies done about the nature of chivalry. It has been shown that male bosses who believe in chivalry – protecting and providing for women – don’t trust them with real power. In this way, chivalry is “benevolent sexism”. Not to say that any man who is nice to a woman is a sexist jerk, but some men believe a woman needs to be coddled and watched. This double standard is wretched. Women are just as capable as men and should be just as evenly praised for their contributions in the workplace. It’s demeaning, and belittles the strife women went through to achieve equal treatment.
Since days of old, women have thankfully realized their independence. I can’t imagine living in a world where I wasn’t allowed to decide what I wanted to study, where I wanted to work, or who I wanted to marry. I also live in a world where I don’t have to worry about typhoid killing my family, and I don’t have to wear a corset. The expectation that I will happily go along with whatever my man decides isn’t appropriate. I am my own person and should be treated as such.
Men and women should still be polite to one another, that should go without saying. Were not talking about “dating a diva” here. But long gone are the days where women were incapable of pulling on a handle or unlocking their own car door. The depiction of the hag who screams at her date for opening the door to the restaurant is an overblown myth; I have yet to personally witness rudeness in response to a door being opened. Men who complain that chivalry is dead often do so from an insecurity complex, and the discordance of wanting to be superior in an equal society.
In short: respect for other people should top all, but there is no reason to baby a woman any more than there is reason to baby a man. Things couples do to show affection for one another should stem from their own desires to protect each other, rather than from any misguided wish to act in accordance with tradition. Chivalry, and the unwritten expectations the idea conveys, should be put to rest.
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