"I'm flicking you off right now," my friend says. "In fact, I'm flicking off everyone in the entire restaurant with both middle fingers."
Normally I would be shocked, horrified, or at minimum, embarrassed, but right now I'm too busy making faces at the waitress to care.
Beside me, a couple exchanges lip-smacking kisses and across the room, a man with a booming voice announces to his date that he has just put his entire hand in "something gooey."